Nobody wins in this film.
I expected much more from this film...especially since Kevin James co-wrote it. His acting in the movie is quality, but the script he's given leaves him with about as much fun as playing with soggy cereal.
Overall, the story is weak. There's a lot of opportunity for some hilarious comedy in a majority of the scenes, and yet it's never taken advantage of it. The punchlines (or lack thereof) just come across as mediocre.
Although there are a few memorable quotes such as "nobody wins in a head butt" but that's really it.
Also, would someone please explain to me why master criminals who are trained to kill feel the need to ride around on little kid bikes and skateboards in order to pursue a fat man going about 10 mph on a Segway? Couldn't you just take away the Segway and chase him on foot perhaps??